Saturday, February 27, 2010

Fan Fiction Entry - "The Day in the Life", by Knox

The Day in the Life
by Knox

‘Well that’s just great,’ thought Seeley Booth as he hung up the phone, ‘how could I have forgotten about that?’ A simple phone call from his son, something he normally looked forward to with relish had just set his day on end and it was only….he confirmed with his watch, ‘aw man, it’s not even 8 yet….and I haven’t even been to bed yet,’ he thought somewhat sadly. And to top it all off, today he was scheduled for Physical Fitness Recertification today. Well, rescheduled. The typical problem in the typical life of the typical FBI agent. The rescheduling of events. The bad guys had no respect for schedules, for plans, for family time. Or the law he mused, that was the root of the problem, he thought nodding slowly. Okay, he shook himself from his thoughts, now he was just getting loopy.

He dropped his weary head to the desk for a few moments as he remembered the excitement in his son’s voice when he’d reminded him of today’s school project, ‘Who is your Dad? What does he do?’, which for some reason he’d felt the need to say in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. Booth was sure there was a reason, but the fact that it escaped him was just further proof to him, of the sleep he was so in need of after last night’s bust of a stakeout. He’d been doing a pal a favor and had stepped in to run point on Frenetti’s party when his wife and kids had all come down with a horrific case of food poisoning which led to an unscheduled trip to the emergency room. The feisty Italian had called just as Booth was scheduled to be picking up his partner for dinner and drinks after a completed case of their own. He left the Jeffersonian lot without ever setting foot in the lab or even getting out of his vehicle. He’d called Bones but only got her voicemail asking him to leave a message for her and so he had.

“Bones, looks like you’re on your own tonight….well….Boothless anyway. Listen I just got a call from a buddy and I – well I’ll just explain it to you later. Just promise me you’ll get outta there before the cows come home and eat a decent meal, well better than decent – heh – I recommend pie,’ he’d said with a laugh, then with a sound of surprise, ‘oh that’s Frenetti calling now, probably covered in puke,’ he’d muttered before suddenly ending the call by dropping the phone entirely as he’d fumbled to end the one and accept the other.

“This should be so illegal,” he’d muttered to himself before finding a spot to pull over, retrieve the phone and get the final details from the man himself.

Head still down on his desk as he recalled that phone call, he thought some more about the call he’d just finished with his son. Parker had called him on Rebecca’s cell phone on the way to school since he’d been unreachable yesterday and last night. Being all too aware of the erratic nature of his father’s work schedule, he’d been reminding him at every opportunity of his agreement to come in to class to be interviewed for the report. Students had been able to sign up if they thought their dad (or male friend or relative as the case may be) might like to come in to be interviewed by the class on the day the report was due. Those with the more interesting jobs were of course in high demand, because even the most sainted of teachers could hear about only so many CPA’s, investment bankers, dog walkers, etc., before they fell asleep. Let alone the kids themselves. Apparently, FBI agent rated very high on the attention holding scale. Parker already had asked if he could bring his gun, his cuffs, his badge, his medals. He smiled then as he realized how proud his son was of him. It was something he worked hard for and he made sure not to take it for granted. He loved his son and wanted nothing more than to be someone he could respect, which made him want to forget the events of last night all the more. He sighed as he looked down at the clothes he was still wearing in what had turned into an impromptu u.c. op. If he’d known what stepping in for Frenetti last night was going to entail….well, he’d still have done it and actually, he wasn’t entirely sure he’d have wanted all the details beforehand. He wasn’t even sure if Frenetti was aware of the full scope of the assignment, given that there was no mention of it in his briefing last night. With a sigh, he lifted his head from the desk and rolling his shoulders against the tension there he leaned back into his chair, eyes closed. If he could get just a few minutes rest before changing and heading over for recertification, he should still make his allotted time on the interview schedule at Parker’s school and his day might just start to improve.

But today was not the day for improvement. He was interrupted before he could even begin to drift off by the sudden opening of his office door and the greeting of -

“Oh, I’m sorry ma’am I’m looking for – ” the woman at the door stopped talking as suddenly as she’d started.

Her eyes met Booth’s.

In total silence.

In complete shock.

You could hear a pin drop.

Then a pen did drop – from the hand of Booth’s visitor.

“Well Hollard? You comin’ or goin’?” he asked.

“Oh…my…..well….aren’t - you a pretty….lady?” Agent Macy Hollard asked as she regained the ability to speak and bent to retrieve her fallen pen, all the while keeping her wide eyes trained on Booth.

With a tired smile, a waggle of his brows and a tilt of his head he responded, “Well I thought so.”

“Little heavy on the,” she said as she waved a hand in the general vicinity of her face, “though.”

“Yeah, I think most guys would tend toward the heavy,” Booth said in agreement as he folded his hands in his lap.

“How’d you,” she paused as she squinted at him, then shook her head and tried to formulate a complete thought as she continued, “it’s actually a pretty good job except for the whole lady of the night affect,” she finished as she finally shut the door and ventured into the room and took a seat in a chair across from him.

“Yeah, I had this girlfriend once – she broke her hand,” he said wiggling his in demonstration, “needed help for weeks. So, being the catch that I am, I became her,” he paused as he tried to remember the word she’d used, “stylist,” he finished as he remembered.

“Wow,” Hollard said shaking her head in disbelief.

“I know,” Booth said with feeling.

“No, I mean wow – you’re really…quite stunning – I was coming in to offer to reschedule cert as a thanks for stepping in for Frenetti – but now I think I may have to insist,” she said still staring hard at him.

“Why?” Booth asked, though inside he was thinking, ‘thank you, thank you.’

“You’re already quite distracting to the female agents….I’m just afraid if the guys see you like this…” she trailed of as she shook her head at the possible effect.

Chuckling, Booth said, “Thanks, I needed that,” he sighed dramatically and said, “I lost the pageant.”

“Th – there was a pageant?” Hollard asked in disbelief. She was all too aware of the twists and turns involved in what sometimes seemed like a routine case at the FBI, but nothing had prepared her for what she was finding in Seeley Booth’s office. She was shocked to find that her next thought on the subject was surprise that he’d lost a beauty pageant dressed as a woman, so she asked, “To who?”

Laughing again, Booth said, “Cher. I think.” Shaking his head he continued, “It was the talent competition that really cost me – singing you know, it’s not my – ”

“Don’t….remind me,” Hollard said, holding her hand up in a ‘say no more’ gesture.

Rolling his eyes at her response he squirmed in his seat as his clothing began to pinch in some strange places. Noticing his discomfort, Hollard smiled. Before she could say anything smart, Booth said, “Yeah, yeah, I’d like to get out of this….this,” he said gesturing at his outfit.

“How’d you get in here?” Hollard asked curiously, “Without drawing a crowd anyway?”

Stretching, Booth explained, “Been sitting in here since about,” he thought for a minute, “4 o’clock?” At her look of surprise, he continued, “Well, didn’t exactly want to go home like this.”

“Of course and we’ve got showers and clothes here,” she supplied.

“And I wanted to get the paperwork out of the way,” he said nodding, “and before I knew it – people were showing up – and here we are,” he finished gesturing with open arms.

“And no one’s bothered you?” she asked in surprise.

“Honestly, I don’t think they know who I am,” he said by way of explanation.

Nodding, she agreed, “I can see that, I really thought you were some random woman waiting for – well, you.” She seemed to be thinking for a moment and then said, “Actually, you know who you could be? DeSantisi on the 4th floor.”

Booth smiled and sat up a little straighter as he said, “Yeah? She’s pretty hot.”

Shaking her head and laughing at the size of his ego, as she realized he was excited that she was hot not because she was hot, but that it meant he was hot by comparison. She was about to comment on that when his phone rang.

“Booth,” he answered sounding more than a little tired.

“Ho – Hodgins, Hodgins, slow down,” he listened as he sat up straight in his chair at the tone of the other man’s voice. “You’re where?” he asked in surprise, eyes widening he shrugged his shoulders and asked, “well, what do you want me to do?.....Yes, I’m a cop, but – no – yes,” he sighed as he stood and paced and listened, “I understand,” he looked to Hollard and said, “yeah, it looks like I just got an opening in my schedule – but if you make me late for Parker – ”

Apparently, Hodgins had already hung up because Booth never finished his threat and was now just standing and staring at his phone.

“Um, I don’t know what that was about,” Hollard began, “but are you sure you’re in any shape to handle it,” she rushed to finish as he passed her on the way to the door.

Shaking his head at the crazy predicament of Hodgins he said, “Just another day in the life of your average FBI guy……”

“No, I mean the – ” Hollard said gesturing at his outfit and grabbing his arm as he passed.

“Oh,” he breathed, “right…thanks,” he said with a tired but grateful smile.

“Nah,” she waved off his compliment, “I’m just trying to cut down on the competition.”

He laughed as they figured out between them how to get him past the now fully populated corridors of the FBI to the locker rooms with as little hassle as possible.

“Look,” she said, “you just keep your head down and I’ll lead you, we stop for no one, and run if we have to.”

Smiling, Booth asked, “Would any sprinting I may have to do count towards recertification?”

Hollard laughed out loud and said, “If that’s what ends up happening and you make a break for it in those heels, I’ll find a way to make it count!”

However no sprinting was required as, true to her word, she led him quite skillfully away from the largest gatherings and through the corridors. As she did so, he brought her up to speed on Hodgins’ predicament so she could make a couple phone calls while he changed. They suddenly stopped and he looked up to find that they were right outside the…… ‘oh great!’ he thought.


Special Agent Dev Johnson looked to his partner Chris Burdick then back to the woman rushing down the hall with Macy Hollard and asked, “Does Booth have a sister?”

“Why?” Chris asked as he shrugged and sipped his coffee.

“Cause I think she just ran by and I’m gonna ask for her number,” he said with a wolfish grin.


The Men’s Locker room was staring him in the face.

He made no move to enter as he realized that dressed as he was he’d stand out like a sore thumb in there.

“Get in! Get in!” Hollard said panicking and shoving at him as she heard voices approaching from around the corridor.

“What if they’re coming in here?!” he whispered harshly.

“I’ll stall them!”

“What if someone’s already in there?!”

“Duck and cover! Now go, you big ladyman!”

Praying to every saint known to him, Booth charged into the locker room and began tearing at any and all accoutrement not attached to his body. He changed & scrubbed his face clean without incident and in record time. He’d thrown on his FBI sweats and now he was fit to help Hodgins. He shook his head, this was way beyond the call of duty. What was happening here was bringing him neck deep into friend territory. Not that he minded. It was common knowledge that the squints over at the Jeff were Booth’s people…and you better not mess with them. Especially that lady scientist of his. And you better not let her hear you call her that. There were a lot of rules when it came to dealing with the Booth’s squints, thankfully the FBI seemed to thrive on rules and regs so most had no difficulty adapting. Actually, most just steered clear.

He poked his head out the door and waved Hollard over. “Did you make the call?” he asked as he stepped out.

“Yeah, you should be set,” she said as she circled him for inspection, then stopped, staring at his face.

“What? Did I miss something?” he panicked.

“You look a little weird, but I’m sure it will pass. And you’re running out of time, so go!” she said pushing him down the hall.

“Thanks Hollard, I owe you big,” he said as he backed away, bowing his thanks to her.

“You bet you do. I’ll call to reschedule the reschedule,” she called to his retreating back.

He waved before he disappeared around the corner.


The siren was blaring as he approached the Hodgins’ mess. A local Leo was on the scene and Booth said a prayer of thanks that it was who he’d asked Hollard to call.

Messer approached him as he trotted over to where the crowd was gathered.


“Hey, Messer, thanks man,” Booth said as he clapped him on the back.
“We gonna be square? After this, I’m good, right?”

“You take care of this for me? We’re good,” Booth promised.

“Okay then,” the other man said nodding and taking a breath. He smiled then and said, “You know, we can probably handle this without you, Hollard made it sound like you were really under the gun today.”

“Eh, typical day,” Booth said with a calm he didn’t feel.

“Yeah, I hear ya,” Messer said in understanding, “but really, go on. I got this.”

“Thanks man. You take good care of my friend, you hear.”

“You got it Booth,” he said as the agent turned to head back to his vehicle. “Hey,” Messer’s voice stopped him. He turned to see the cop looking at him oddly as he asked, “You okay Booth?”

“Yeah,” Booth said looking at him strangely, “why?”

“Nah, it’s nothing,” he said after a moment. Booth turned to leave again as the other man said, “it’s just…”

Booth turned to look at him again. Noticing he was looking more and more impatient, Messer spit out, “You smell pretty.”

It came out a little louder than intended and unfortunately they were close enough to the crowd that they garnered more than a few looks.

Booth opened his mouth to say something, closed it, then just closed his eyes and walked back to his suv and drove away.


He hurried back to the office to shower and change properly into what he considered standard FBI attire and hopefully get to his sons school on time to wow them with his FBI presence. Shouldn’t be too hard, they were only 8. And he’d bring stickers. That thought had him rushing back through the halls from the locker room to his office so he could grab a few kid friendly props and go.

When he got there he was somewhat surprised to find a mug in the middle of his desk. It was a standard World’s Greatest FBI Agent coffee mug that had been slightly altered. He picked it up to find that his FBI designation, 22705, had been written in so there could be no doubt among the agent’s as to just whose mug this was. The other modification was that the word ‘Greatest’ had been crossed out and the word ‘Prettiest’ had been written in. With a little post-it that read, ‘Don’t forget your mug for show and tell.’

He laughed and nodded to himself. This was either a gift from Hollard or someone had heard what had gone down last night and he knew that it was bound to come out sooner or later. Knowing this was just typical FBI ribbing though, and would only continue till the next laughable story came along, he wasn’t too worried. Because come they did, quite regularly in this building, the crazy cases and odd situations. Putting the mug in a lower drawer, his only concern was how he could keep the squints from getting wind of this story. The FBI had nothing on the teasing and practical joking that went on over at the Jeffersonian, he thought with a slight shudder.


Booth parked and ran just the slightest bit to get himself to Parker’s class on time, goodies in hand. He was stopped by an aid only to be told that due to the excitement generated by his visit, they were now holding his portion of the interview in the auditorium and inviting the other 3rd grade classes to participate as part of their ‘government week’.

“Oh,” Booth said, surprised by the change.

“I hope that’s okay the woman said, “your son seemed to think you’d enjoy the larger audience.”

He smiled to put her at ease and she blushed.

“I’m sure it will be fine he said, I just hope I have enough stickers,” he said as he held up a bag of ‘badges’.

“Oh,” she said, “how sweet, none of the other fathers brought props.”

“Well, it’s nothing,” he shrugged.

“Oh no….no…,” she said, “Parker was right, you are the best dad ever,” she said solemnly.

“Well, thanks,” he said feeling more than a little uncomfortable, “um….here,” he said thrusting a sticker at her and hurrying away.

“Such a nice man,” she said watching him go through the auditorium doors.


“And now we have Special Agent Seeley Booth of the FBI,” introduced the Principal.

The crowd of teacher and children broke into applause as Booth approached the podium. He was no stranger to speaking in front of crowds and kids didn’t scare him but this was not at all what he’d been expecting and was surprised to find his mind completely blank. His face must have conveyed his confusion because the principal covered the mic and leaned toward him and said, “Don’t worry if you have nothing prepared, just tell us about a typical day at the FBI.”

Booth chuckled and nodded as he stepped up to the mic.

“Hi, I’m Special Agent Seeley Booth and I’m here to tell you about an FBI day…….”


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